Race enthusiasts were beginning to wonder if this four-legged object was a horse or a high strung movable dart board. With an astounding lead for several strides in the Preakness, Trainer Horton was sure he had solidified his scientific hormonal formula. Anxious for a win, he has reassessed his training methods to focus on the “slight” drifting problems HyperLoop displays while running. He has two theories: geometry says the shortest way between two points is a straight line and when science needs a little help, always back it up with holistic voodoo…essential oils. Who wouda thunk? HyperLoop was in need of having her chakras (energy “wheels” or centers in the body) oiled and energized. It seems Horton has regained access to his Amazon account with government spies continuously tracking shipments of lavender and roman chamomile oil arriving in a “smile” box on the barnyard doorstep. A little soothing anti-anxiety dabbed to the poll and chakras should straighten this wild child to a straight-lined win.